Reports from the zen wars

The impossible rigor of a questioning life

By Steve Antinof

Counterpoint 2016

Tim Pallis

Steve Antinoff has written a wonderful book about the impossible rigor of a questioning life. He calls it ”Report from the zen wars”. It reminds me about two books by Brian Victoria ”Zen at War” and ”Zen War Stories”. But it is not the same report. The Soto Zen priest Brian Daizen Victoria writes about some of Zen masters relationship to the Japanese militarism through World War II.

But in this true existential Zen ”war” Steve Antinoff writes about a life long practice and questioning the true nature of our existence and identity. Steve is one of the few people, who has taken this questioning seriously up over a life time and used it to explore, what is in it and where it goes. It is not a personal ego trip, but the spiritual atheists quest for a deep understanding of our non-dual nature.

SA is a true western Zen man. He is not a copy of traditional japanese zen, not trying to introduce formal Zen to the West. He can only chant the Hanya Shingyo or the Heart Sutra and not all the other sutras that are being chanted every morning in the japanese style western Zen groups.

SA is seriously trying to learn from some the most important japanese lay Zen masters of last century, and with this book he is able to bring some of the people he knew to life in a way that does them honor, but without copying their form. He takes part in their very strict monastic practice, but he is not of it. He is very much himself, and that is so great.

We can learn a lot from SA’s writing about what it really means, and what it demands to do the Zen training sesshins after sesshins year by year. I am amazed about his persistence and his constant renewal of his effort and understanding of the spiritual quest for the buddhist awakening.

When I first skimmed the book I thought, that it was SA’s spiritual autobiography, but getting into it I soon understood, that that is not the case. Steve is not telling us about his own ”attainments”, he is a reporter of other Zen peoples insights and advices about the best way to practice Zen. It all boils down to the great lay Zen master Shin’ichi Hisamatsu’s (1889-1980) fundamental koan: ”Whatever you do, will not do, so what do you do?”

I tried to find Steve Antinoff’s own chronology of practice, but gave up. Even if it is a very detailed description of his own way through Zen training sometimes in monastic sesshins, sometimes in lay sesshins and now and then in the lecture room of a university, the chapters jumps in time back and forth between his many years of engagement.

That is not disturbing at all for whoever he meets and asks questions and get answers from, it is all deeply relevant for anybody engaged in Zen either intellectually or in actual Zen training. But let me shortly comment on the title of the book.

It is very much SA’s own personal war and impossible rigor of his practice. Well it might not be the same for everybody all the time, who is getting out on that rough road of cul-de-sac practice. A 7 days Zen sesshin, where you sit in lotus for 12 hours every day is definitely painful. In zazen training of that kind we learn something about pain, and how to accept a certain level of pain if it does not continues to increase.

There are also great joys, deep peace, ecstatic experiences and insights along the way of that training. But don’t look for any attainment or great enlightenment please! I don’t want to quote the many grain of gold in this book, but just one. The monk called "the Thief" says: ”When you come to there is nothing whatsoever, don’t mistake it for enlightenment – it is just the gate.”